3/26/15

Hello readers, if I have any.

If you’re out there.

Hello?

I have not made a post in quite some time, and while this is usually a sign that I am getting tired of my idea, I want to assure you all that I am still waging war against the fat girl’s natural enemy; the dreaded stairs. 

I wish I could say that the only challenges I face are physical. It would be so much easier to jog up a flight of stairs than deal with the emotional strain I’ve been faced with lately. I’m not here to complain, or vent, or even preach. I’m sure everyone has dealt with their own bouts of depression. Mine might have cost me my relationship. But I’m not going to get into all that right now.

What I’m here to say is that it gets better. It will always feel like the world is ending and you are too far under to pull yourself upright. If anything has helped me through this time it has been this: This is not a permanent state of being.

I am not a professional. I don’t claim to know the ins and outs of the human condition, but I know myself. Any obstacle can be tackled. Whether it’s going up fifty steps just to get to class every day or packing up all of your stuff and living on your own for a while, I can do this, and you can too.

Sorry I got a little emotional there for a minute, but loving yourself is not just about loving your body, but taking care of yourself mentally as well.

Until next time, faithful readers.

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Spring Break

Haven't posted in a while. It's Spring Break for me so I've been up and around and am currently updating from Midlothian, Virginia where I am visiting with my friend Megan and her sweet family. I have been slacking on my squat challenge but Megan is a good motivator, so she'll volunteered to kick my backend back into shape and into routine. We'll see.

I don't have much else to say, despite my absence. Midterms are upon us and I'm afraid I will be gone a little longer yet.

Until next time.

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Happy Accident

I tried to cheat today. With the ache in my thighs from my rigorous squat schedule already burning on my trek from my car to Peck Hall, the thought of 50 steps to overcome felt unimaginable. So, I hit the little arrow by the elevator, already validating my laziness with a dozen excuses. I have my backpack with me today, and it's heavy, I whined internally. I hit the button again, as the little red light had faded. My legs hurt and I've been doing so good on my squats! The light went out again and I realized the elevator wasn't whirring the way it did when it was on its way to the bottom floor. There wasn't any sort of noise, actually. Out of order. I took this as a sign, took a deep breath, and jogged up those damn stairs! I'm pleased to announce that I did not see stars in my vision, the world did not start to go black, and I only breathed heavy for a few minutes when I finally sat down on the bench by the door to my next class. 

I'm rather proud of myself, despite needing that extra push. Thanks, unpredictable elevator outage.

Also, I'd like to point out that I look fine as hell today. I'm likely to add a photo later, so stay tuned for that~ 

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The Stairs

There are fifty stair steps in between me and the third floor of the concrete building where all of my classes reside. It is these very stairs that inspired this blog title. I’ve come to count them to distract myself from the tightness in my chest and the foreboding pressure in my right kneecap. I don’t know if bad knees are inherited genetically, but the discomfort makes me feel as if I am taking after my mother, who had both of hers replaced when I was pretty young. Around step twenty, I have to remind myself to breathe. I have this bad habit of holding my breath when my chest starts to burn from exercise. It’s something I remember doing when I played soccer. Even in the best shape of my life, my asthma made it impossible to run sprints without wheezing.

I’m hoping that if I can take the stairs every time, despite the tempting elevator that a lot of the other students take, I’ll be able to jog up to the third floor and not be winded for a good five minutes. This has been my goal for a while but I have made excuses. I DO carry at least twenty pounds on my back at any given day. That’s been my main complaint but no more! The end of February might not be a celebrated time to make New Year resolutions, but here I go! I’m taking the stairs from now on. 

I’ll let y’all know when I stop wheezing.

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